The Ballad of Heero and other stuff
by TheWainscottWeasel
Summary: Just me making fun of people. Pay me no mind and please read.


The Ballad of Heero Yuey and other things.  
  
  
It was a cold and rainy day. The birds were singing, the cockroaches were, um, hissing,  
  
and the various family pets that called this particular street home had awoken and were  
  
announcing the day in the loudest way possible. Suddenly, the upstairs window of the third  
  
house down opened and a blond with narrowed eyes poked his head out.   
  
"WILL YOU PLEASE BE QUIET!!!" He roared. The noise immediately stopped and the head   
  
retreated, closing the window behind it. Inside, the boy wandered sleepily through his bedroom   
  
door out into the hallway where he was stopped by another boy, this one with a braid.  
  
"Hey, Quatre, looking great!" The braided one said cheerfully.  
  
Quatre, who was not looking great because he'd just been woken up by just about every single  
  
creature within a two mile radius, simply stated: "What do you want now Duo."  
  
"Why, my good friend Quatre!" Replied Duo innocently. "What makes you think I wanted anything  
  
but to say halloo to everyone on this beautiful morning?"  
  
Quatre gave him an annoyed look and Duo changed tactics.  
  
"Look buddy, all I want is for you to read some poetry I did. I'd ask someone else but   
  
some of it's kinda, well, offensive and you're the only one that's not going to put a hole   
  
through my foot when you read it."  
  
"Can't this wait?" Said Quatre with a yawn. "I am really not awake right now."  
  
"Please?"  
  
"I'm really not awake."  
  
"Please Please?"  
  
"Really not awake."  
  
"Please please please?"  
  
"Not awake."  
  
Please please please please please..."  
  
"Fine! If I read it will you stop bugging me?"  
  
"Of course!" Said Duo brightly. "Just read quick okay?"  
  
"Yah, whatever." Mumbled Quatre, and he started to read aloud.  
  
  
  
The Ballad of Heero Yuey  
  
There once was this really weird guuuuyy!  
  
Who was obsessed with trying to diiiiiee!  
  
He blew himself up several tiiiiimes!  
  
But try persistently as he miiiiight!  
  
He never quite managed to fryyyyy!  
  
And his attempts made his guurlfriend cryyyyy!  
  
But gradually by and byyyyy!  
  
He found a new purpose in liiiiife!  
  
To stalk his girlfriend till she diiiiieed!  
  
Or at least till she became his wiiiiife!  
  
Apparently this attention she liiiiiked!  
  
And I couldn't explain why if I triiiiieed!  
  
  
  
Quatre paused his reading for a moment.   
  
"Well that was...imaginative to say the least." He finally stated.   
  
"Cummon, read the rest of it already!" Encouraged Duo.  
  
"Okay, but I don't think I should read them out loud." Said Quatre,   
  
peering down the hall. "I personally think Yuey might have taken offense to that one if he'd  
  
heard it."  
  
"Yah, I spose yer right. I didn't even think about that." Replied Duo wide eyed. "Damn, he   
  
woulda probably shot me. Oh well, what's new." He said with a grin. "Couldya finish quick here?"  
  
"Ookay."  
  
  
  
Trowa Limerick  
  
There's a fellow with really strange hair  
  
That causes the masses to stare  
  
It grew over one eye  
  
And it sometimes switched sides  
  
So he no longer sees what's up there.  
  
  
  
"Funny huh?"  
  
"That's not nice." Retorted Quatre out of habit.  
  
"Oh please." Said Duo. "Would you just finish already?"  
  
"Hmph."  
  
  
  
Wufei Limerick  
  
I once knew a Chang named Wufei  
  
His morals were really quite strange  
  
He said "women can't fight!"  
  
And believed he was right  
  
But the feminists he cannot sway.  
  
  
  
"Now I can see why you been asking me to hurry." Said Quatre, who had raised one eyebrow.  
  
"I don't think Wufei would like that one very much."  
  
"Yah so like you said, could you hurry?" Duo said as he checked the halls once more.  
  
"Sure, I've just got two more to go."  
  
  
  
Quatre Limerick  
  
There's a blond who is kinda bizarre  
  
He wants peace but he's obsessed with war  
  
He might blow off your head  
  
Or he'll hug you instead  
  
And then run you flat with his car  
  
  
  
"Oh Ha Ha." Said Quatre sarcastically.  
  
Duo grinned sheepishly. "Well I've gotta be fair and make fun of everybody don't I?"  
  
Quatre ignored him and continued.  
  
  
  
Duo Limerick  
  
There's also this guy with long hair  
  
Who's brain must simply not be there  
  
He talks during battles  
  
When his nerves get all rattled  
  
And he's useless just bout anywhere  
  
  
  
"See?" Alleged Duo. "I made fun of everybody."  
  
"Well I suppose that's fair." Said Quatre as he reviewed the page again quickly.  
  
"It's auctually very funny." He handed back the paper.  
  
Duo grinned widely. "Thanks!" He quipped and headed back to his bedroom, but was stopped by a   
  
figure that had just walked up the hall and was standing in front the doorway. Duo shifted and   
  
smiled nervously when he saw who it was.  
  
"Oh hi Heero, just showing Quatre some of my stuff ha ha HA, and I really need to get into   
  
my bedroom so could you move?  
  
Heero glared at him.  
  
"What?" Said Duo. "Did I do something?"  
  
"What do you have on that paper."  
  
"Just a porno story that I wrote about Dorothy." Returned Duo cheerfully. Heero gave him a   
  
disgusted look and moved off down the hall.  
  
"Holy Cheese." Sighed Duo and he quickly ran into his room and slammed the door behind him. 


End file.
